Reverse psychology. You’re reading now. But seriously, this is not an interesting story, just one I had to get off my chest and out into the internet for someone else to worry about.
I’ve been having some knee pain when running, and Coach T says this is usually caused by underdeveloped muscles that support the knee. Basically if you’re having knee pain, it is probably time to add weight training to your routine. So, I decided to look for a gym that had weight training classes and yoga, two things that are excellent in addition to your running plan.
I called my local gym, Washington Sports Club, and negotiated on the rate. They offered me a “risk free trial” of the gym until the end of August. They asked me to come in that day and sign up to get the deal. I came in and signed my new member paperwork, and the sales associate introduced me to my new trainer. New gym memberships always come with a free hour with a trainer, who orients you to the gym and then tries to get you to buy expensive personal training packages.
The trainer talked to me about marathoning, and my knees, and decided he should set me up with a weight lifting routine that would compliment my running routine. He told me to wear a heart rate monitor on my 12 miler on Sunday and to record my time, and to come back in on Tuesday for my free one-on-one session. “Be ready to work” he said.
I held up my end of the bargain. I wore that stupid heart rate monitor and recorded my time. I showed up early to check in to the front desk. I told the desk girl I was here for my 4pm “fitness eval”. She said “yes, he’s waiting for you. Put your things in the locker room and come back”. When I came back another man came in and said he was also here for his 4pm with the same trainer.
The front desk girl said she would get to the bottom of it, and went to retrieve him. The session was supposed to start at 4pm. At 4:10pm, he came out, retrieved the other client and asked me “are you waiting for your fitness eval?” AS IF HE’D NEVER SEEN ME IN HIS LIFE. This, the guy who was supposedly devising a personalized marathon plan just for me. BQT, here I come!
Front desk girl said she would find someone else. Five minutes later another trainer came over and said that he didn’t have time to work with me, but he’d be happy to train me in a month when he gets back from vacation. (Free trial ends Aug 30). Then he asked me “why do you even want a fitness evaluation anyways?”
Um, at this point, I don’t. Assholes. This has been an epic waste of time. (This gym, btw, is an astounding $80 a month. This must be for all the great customer service you get and all the personal attention they promise in their ads.)
Other trainer said if I wanted to get my free hour before he came back from vacay in a month, I’d have to go to someone else. (no shit.) He took my number and said someone would call me.
Spoiler alert. Nobody called me.
Nobody called to reschedule. Nobody called to apologize. The first trainer didn’t apologize for completely forgetting me. Front desk girl didn’t apologize after watching the entire fiasco unravel right in front of her. No manager called to apologize or offer me a free guest pass or free cookie or SOMETHING to ackowledge that I am a human being with feelings and a life and time that was wasted on NOTHING.
Nobody cares about this but me. To be fair, I warned you not to read this.