On Friday I went for a jog after work. I was planning on running 6 miles. After about 2 miles, I was on a path behind the National Zoo. This secluded little path is usually very serene. I was running along in quiet bliss when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a ginormous snake crossed the path right in front of me. I ALMOST STEPPED ON IT, Y’ALL. OMG. A snake. In the city. For reals.
The snake ruined my run. I had a legit panic attack. I couldn’t feel my arms and legs. I was lightheaded and dizzy. I drank all my water and there were no water fountains for miles. I had to give up and go home. Slowly. Stupid snake. If anyone happens to see that snake, tell it to leave me alone.